Evening all ❤️
Hope you are all OK.
Bit of lighthearted humour tonight about my past dating disasters if you don’t like swearing 🤬 please dont read on…
These are confessions from the heart.
May I add no men where harmed during this period in my life least i think they wasn’t.
So let me explain my title my milkshake brings all the wrong en’s to my yard!!!
Please tell me you have heard kelis song milkshake well she goes on to tell people how she manages to gain power over male desires and reels them in using her sexual powers then brags about it to other females that don’t appear to be as dope as she is.
Well my interpretation is how my milkshake brings all the unstable species to my yard, yard meaning life or home.
Anyway so this one experience i had the guy seemed pretty cool similar Intrests seem to say all the right things so decided we would finally meet up.. I thought conversations would be amazing because we like the same things.
So we met up for a drink first of all I’m not a picky wench (wench means lady) but omg this pub we went into was the smallest shittest pub ever even the soles of my converse nearly disembarked the floor was that bad.
Anyway he went to the bar to get a drink came back with one drink i thought oh major…
Me being sarcastic i was like oh I’ll go get myself a drink i mean im never tight with my money ever but this was a major red flag.
So sat there after i had got myself a gin thought i would be classy not normally would have a pint with a straw just kidding im not that bad.
Thought great lets kick conversion of i like retro gaming he said he liked it too on previous messages.
Sitting there chatting away trying so hard to make conversation i said what’s your all time retro game i said spyro the dragon.
He looked at me with blank stare i don’t know what you’re on about he said.
Well conversation we had few days ago i said via txted message.
Ready to back up with the facts.
I thought Cheeky sod then he turns around and said wasn’t me must of been the other fellas you’ve been talking to.
Sat there thought that was a bit shitty to say.
Tried to brush it off carried on with the date beacuse im polite.
But omg once he had, had a few drinks i couldn’t shut the egotistical pisswizz up.
Never once asked me about me was all him my biggest bugbear that is.
I’ve never been so bored in all my life he’s phone kept pinging kept flashing up tinder whilst on a date with me.
But to be honest the tinder situation has happened before on drunken night out with a lad i liked for a very long time and at that Time to be honest i was gutted and ever so slightly disappointed.
I actually thought to myself i need to save these poor women who where going to be subjected to such shite that there ears would bleed from wasting precious time going on a date with this fella.
But i didn’t the final nail in the coffin so to speak is when i was talking he would pick me up on everything i said made it into an elocution lesson.
Im not the brightest crayon in the box mate but least im not dull.
After the insults and the egotistical behaviour he actually had the nerve to say do you want to meet up again.
I said listen love i should think ffing not the fact is you have just told me everything i wanted to hear to get me to waste my time on a date with you to be insulted, pay for my own drink and you haven’t got a clue what red dwarf is an absolute pisstake.
I got up paid for my own tab and walked out.
At the least i have to say i didn’t pursue that one again i did get a txted a few weeks later asking…
Can we be friends….
My reply was simple.
Life’s hard enough as it is why would you want deadwood hanging around like that.
I wanted empowerment i wanted someone who gets my geeky traits.
Who’s cool with music, video games, classic film and superheroes and gin.
Who likes my messy hair and goofy smile and my sweatpants aswell as my glam look.
Oh and someone who could kick my ass at crazy golf.
Routine is never boring if you’re around the right people.
But its hard work being around the wrong people.
Love to you all 😊
Stacie 🐚 💋 💄 ❤️ ❤️