Blindsided

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Good Morning All

Its Saturday Which means its the weekend..

I awoke from not much sleep but Ive worked out coffee in hand I’m ready to be creative and let my passion flow.

Ive been getting a lot of emails and messages lately honestly I love getting messages from you all asking me for my guidance regarding your situations it makes me feel like I know what I’m talking about & also I like being helpful to other people.

I received an email of a lady in the U.S.A she had previously come across my blog and wanted my advice after her relationship of thirteen years ended abruptly.

I’m going to be honest I could feel her pain whilst reading her email one line that will always stick with me is I’m lost I really don’t know how I will carry on.

I just wanted to give her a hug because when your in love with someone and the feelings are no longer there on the partners side its a terrible feeling.

You just don’t know what you could of possibly done wrong, was you the actual problem all along.

Lets go over what the actual meaning of blindsided in love .

Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning.

We don’t see the red flags because we are so in love with someone we put them on a pedestal, it doesn’t matter what that person does to us we just don’t see the bigger picture.

  1. Your Feelings Are Normal

When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and then suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup.

It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy.

You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heart breaking event.


2. Don’t Blame Yourself

Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being splitting up.

If your ex wasn’t happy, they should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering them.

But some people feel it’s easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.


3. Take Time For Yourself

Be kind to yourself as you process this breakup.

Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down.

Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted.

The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.


4. Be Happy With Other People

Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on.

Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup.

It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that they don’t want to be with you.

Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.


5. Don’t Waste Your Time Trying To Convince Them.

The last thing you should do is try to convince them that they have made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it’s highly likely they where thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened.

They had gave it a lot of thought before they actually initiated the breakup.

At this point, they have had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached themselves from them.


6. Acceptance Wont Come Easy

Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose them at all.

You will remember the most recent time that they said “I love you” and struggle with the idea that their feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly.

Worst of all is that you will expect them to come back to you, and many times they won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless they says otherwise.


7. Distract Yourself

Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship.

After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories.

Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.

The key is to work on yourself when you go through a situation like this not because you where the problem in the first place but because you deserve to be loved and understood being blindsided can really be a whirlwind process but you will get through it , it just takes time.

You will learn new things about yourself when your in a state of vulnerability but you must always remember not every relationship will be the same as your last so please don’t give up on love when the time is right you will know but for now take your time and get to know yourself.

Please don’t Hesitate to email me if you need my advice using contact box below .

I’m Sending you love.

Stacie xxx

P.S If you love my blog please contribute a small donation to help me create more fabulous content for you. 

𝕊𝕖𝕝𝕗 ℝ𝕖𝕗𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

Evening all…

I hope you’re all well.

I thought I would share my last thoughts of the day with you all.It’s a topic that I feel I need to address.

It’s self reflection!!!But what is self reflection?

The activity of thinking about your own feelings and behaviour, and the reasons that may lie behind them.

It’s extremely hard to be excepted as a human being for being completely at peace with who you are and confident in your own skin.

To many people think being happy with just being you can give across the wrong impression.

Many see it as egotistical , big headed behaviour and annoying to be around someone who’s so sure about who they are.

This is where I get a little bit ranty.I apologise in advance…

But I don’t feel its anybodies business what anyone else chooses to do with their life, their body or their time.

People are so quick to be judgemental over others and what they choose to do in life.

Not everything needs peoples opinions if you don’t like what you see simply scroll past ignore get on with you’re day.

It doesn’t effect you but how you approach that person in question might have a dramatic impact on their self esteem.

Sometimes you don’t need to say anything at all in fact it can show you’re own insecurities that you’re then trying to project on to someone else.

That’s not fair.

One thing that really annoys me.

People can spend a lifetime hating who they see staring back at them in the mirror.

One second they start loving themselves it’s egostical, big-headed, full of themselves.

They don’t see how hard a person has worked on themselves to even show themselves an ounce of Selflove.

Don’t dim someone else’s light to make yours appear brighter.

Your one negative comment can undo all someones hard work.

Instead of bringing people down empower them.

I don’t look fantastic all the time take away the hair extensions the make up & eyelashes.

I look like a badgers arse but guess what I love myself enough not to care.

My pictures are promotional and I don’t care who says they don’t use photo filters they are absolutely liars.

Everyone does no one is perfect.But one thing that remains true to me is that after so many years of hating myself I’ve finally found out who I am.

And I’m comfortable with saying I love who I’ve become and the old me is never coming back however hard anyone tries to break me.

And if people can’t understand that then tough.

Just please if you don’t like what you see in people’s life’s judgement isn’t always needed when you don’t know people’s background.

Please understand that that’s their journey it’s not meant for you.Just scroll past a don’t be judgemental.

Love to you all ❤️

Stacie x

#seashellsandlipglossblog#bekind#nodramaplease#selflove#ukblogger

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕝𝕪 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕤, 𝕚𝕥 𝕝𝕖𝕥’𝕤 𝕘𝕠 𝕠𝕗 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘.

Evening all ❤️

Sending out virtual hugs to you all.

Tonight i wanted to give you all a little bit of an update on myself.

And go through explaining the process of how I’ve started to turn my life around.

Firstly you will see from previous blogs that i have been put through an emotional whirlwind past few months.

Finally the times are changing.

Since gaining my confidence back I’ve been working on other area’s of my life.

Having a bit of an emotional clear out is what I needed.

As you start changing old patterns in you life you will see both blessings and true colors of others around you.

We don’t see that others can actually hold us back instead of helping us grow.

Until we start to make drastic changes in life.

As sad as it seems sometimes we just outgrow people, places and situations thats life.

Thank them for being apart of your journey and move on.

I know it maybe hard to understand that Selflove is important, you must remember to nurture yourself aswell as giving to others.

I’ve had to change because i couldn’t carry on down the path of self destruction.

Change the mindset and you will receive.

I’ve had a lot of people try and put me down just for simply trying to be me.

But not anymore I’ve made changes im just not the same person as I used to be.

Change has to occur to allow us to grow.

Now I’ve started changing my mindset I’ve started to attract positivity to my life and thing’s have really started to progress for me.

Im currently a brand influencer to three brands and the list is growing daily.

Bohogirljewellery.com

Xquizit Attire

Sexy lingerie

I’m super excited to be a part of such great brands.

I also continue to support local businesses and national businesses.

Im also part of a fantastic blogging team called fashion potluck i was selected by their panel to join.

Soon im hoping to be doing vlogging.

And of course more singing and song writing.

Ans im also designing some of own clothing range.

I’m very happy at the moment i don’t have time to sit and dwell on the past.

When my future is looking so busy.

Just a little bit of positive engery and a clearer mind can attract a better future.

Until next time….

Love to you all 😊

Stacie 🐚 💋 💄 ❤️ ❤️

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#life

#blogger

#ukbloggers

#selfcare

#trustheprocess

𝕂𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕡𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟.

Today was dark there was no light.

I woke within a state of fight or flight.

As I sat alone and sad.

My mind twisted from good to bad.

Im sick of people saying you will be alright.

But it’s dark inside here  in my mind therfore there is no light.

As my anxiety swollow’s me whole.

At every occasion it takes away my soul.

And peice by peice I felt so lost.

But what will it all cost.

 The love I’ve lost the pain I’ve caused.

People’s life’s I’ve felt I’ve paused.

What will it take…

For me to break for me to give in.

This is my body and my soul I stand in my own skin.

Therfore the healing I must allow to begin.

I know there is light amongst the dark.

I must find my fight I must find my spark.

It won’t be easy it won’t be quick.

But now I’m tired and my soul is sick.

I want my life back and these feelings to dissappear.

I want you to understand me I need you near.

Support is the key and  the window to my soul.

If you can’t help me fight the darkness then please let me go.

There is no room for anymore hurt or pain.

I’m ready to close the book and to start again.

I know it won’t be easy I know I will have to fight.

But I know if I just  keep looking I know I’ll find the light.


Stacie Leanne 15th February 2020#poetry
#seashellsandlipglossblog.

Doing it wrong 😀🤗

When a good thing goes bad it’s not the end of the world
It’s just the end of a world, that you had with one boy
And he’s the reason it happened, but he’s overreacting
And it’s all because he don’t want things to change..

(Doing it wrong) drake

Morning all my gorgeous bloggers and readers..

It’s Saturday and it raining in Merseyside but I’m not letting that kill my vibe.

I woke up happy and refreshed so I’m blogging live from my bath tub.

This morning I’m feeling vibes from drake he has to be one of my top ten favourite artists.

He talks alot of sense I personally don’t think it’s elevator music his vibe is right on point.

I’m super excited it’s payday and it’s the month inbetween run up to Christmas and New year so I get some me time I’m that focused on me at the moment and my kids of course its all about what works for me and my kids.

So I’ve decided to undergo a little makeover physically and mentally.

They do say a women who’s making changes is the most dangerous women out there she’s not scared to cut away peices of her life that no longer serves her or her wellbeing.

People say a women who’s got her shit together is a. Women going places and that’s me.

To me it’s not about who’s the skinnest the prettiest it’s about someone who’s got something unquie someone who’s got vibes that no one else has got.

I have no desire for validation from anyone or anything I don’t have no desire to show off I’m just living life.

Which I haven’t been doing for a long time.

So I’m spending a little time on me and making myself happy.

Some of it is cosmetic but that’s up to me.

I do what makes me happy and that’s that.

Never let anyone tell you…

You can’t do something or go somewhere in life its your life not theirs .

NEGTIVTY breeds NEGTIVTY.

Positivty brings good karma and new beginnings.

You attract what you give out to the universe.

So to everyone who’s feeling like they can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep going even if your tired as you get closer to the end of that tunnel the light gets brighter and brighter and you will come out the other side a better stronger person.

Love 😍

Stacie 🐚 💋 💄 ❤️ ❤️