Blindsided

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Good Morning All

Its Saturday Which means its the weekend..

I awoke from not much sleep but Ive worked out coffee in hand I’m ready to be creative and let my passion flow.

Ive been getting a lot of emails and messages lately honestly I love getting messages from you all asking me for my guidance regarding your situations it makes me feel like I know what I’m talking about & also I like being helpful to other people.

I received an email of a lady in the U.S.A she had previously come across my blog and wanted my advice after her relationship of thirteen years ended abruptly.

I’m going to be honest I could feel her pain whilst reading her email one line that will always stick with me is I’m lost I really don’t know how I will carry on.

I just wanted to give her a hug because when your in love with someone and the feelings are no longer there on the partners side its a terrible feeling.

You just don’t know what you could of possibly done wrong, was you the actual problem all along.

Lets go over what the actual meaning of blindsided in love .

Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning.

We don’t see the red flags because we are so in love with someone we put them on a pedestal, it doesn’t matter what that person does to us we just don’t see the bigger picture.

  1. Your Feelings Are Normal

When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and then suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup.

It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy.

You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heart breaking event.


2. Don’t Blame Yourself

Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being splitting up.

If your ex wasn’t happy, they should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering them.

But some people feel it’s easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.


3. Take Time For Yourself

Be kind to yourself as you process this breakup.

Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down.

Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted.

The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.


4. Be Happy With Other People

Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on.

Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup.

It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that they don’t want to be with you.

Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.


5. Don’t Waste Your Time Trying To Convince Them.

The last thing you should do is try to convince them that they have made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it’s highly likely they where thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened.

They had gave it a lot of thought before they actually initiated the breakup.

At this point, they have had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached themselves from them.


6. Acceptance Wont Come Easy

Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose them at all.

You will remember the most recent time that they said “I love you” and struggle with the idea that their feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly.

Worst of all is that you will expect them to come back to you, and many times they won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless they says otherwise.


7. Distract Yourself

Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship.

After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories.

Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.

The key is to work on yourself when you go through a situation like this not because you where the problem in the first place but because you deserve to be loved and understood being blindsided can really be a whirlwind process but you will get through it , it just takes time.

You will learn new things about yourself when your in a state of vulnerability but you must always remember not every relationship will be the same as your last so please don’t give up on love when the time is right you will know but for now take your time and get to know yourself.

Please don’t Hesitate to email me if you need my advice using contact box below .

I’m Sending you love.

Stacie xxx

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕌𝕡

Hiya Everyone

I hope you have had a great day I would like to say I have but that hasn’t been the case.

Do you know when you roll out of bed in the morning and you know its not going to be a great day both emotionally and physically, most the time these days I have my shit together.

But today I felt like the whole world was against me, my anxiety attacks are less and less these days since I’ve found my confidence back but still one slips through the cracks of that barrier that ive built so high around my soul and every now and again the old Stacie tries to remerge from the shadows and i have to rain her back into the darkness because that jush isn’t me anymore.

This blog post I’ve wanted to post for along time now and I’ve been putting it off for a while but i think its time to share it with you all.

To the people who know me in person who read my blog will understand exactly how I’ve been feeling and hopefully you will understand why I’ve needed to do what I have done to simply keep my head above water and to stop myself from drowning.

Up until the last six months Ive been at war with myself , my mind and my heart trying to align all three has been a battle and half.

I’ve always put others first and always put myself last just to make other people happy.

Ive loved and not always been loved back the old unrequited love is an arsehole.

I’ve sat there and listened and let someone pull me apart piece by piece for simply being me.

Ive kept calm when the fire inside me had raged.

I’ve been battered and bruised by my own self confidence.

Until that day comes and you think you know enough is enough I’m not taking this anymore.

I got up that morning in February and thought this is the last time i will allow my life and the people around me to control me..

It started with some external changes I was so determined to loose weight as that held my confidence back massively and I knew I had to drastically do something to achieve what i wanted so that was the first step for me.

So then the hair changed you always know when a women means business she changes her hair said coco channel , so that’s when my transformation really started when the red hair came along , that in itself gave me a lot of confidence.

Over the past 7 months i have worked on my surroundings and the company i kept.

I had taken a step back from anyone who brings drama to my life, I’m not about the drama, I just want a peaceful life.

One thing I realised when your going through a glow up is that some people will support you others will completely turn on you.

Ive been called nasty and evil plus lot more but i know that’s not me at all.

That’s the kind of people I haven’t got time for anymore.

We all go through bad times i know but its how we choose to evolve from it.

You see some people don’t like other people evolving due to their own insecurities, that’s when you realise that your energies are not meant to combine.

Your eyes open and you truly see people and situations that you once where involved with and think what the hell was i doing.

Transformation does that to you.

So what are my plans for the near future I’m sure that people will have something to say but you know what its my life my body I will do what makes me happy.

I don’t go into things blind I do my research..

so I’m fast approaching 33 and its time to start taking proper care of myself as vain as that sounds but again my choice, so i have been in touch with the Harley medical group to see if they will sort my loose skin from weight loss, that for me is a massive step in the mean time i will just have to put up with it.

Its ok people saying you look fine but its my choice i have to do what makes me happy and i would never go to the extreme.

So the glow up after such a rubbish time is amazing and I’m in this bubble at the moment where I feel untouchable from anything or anyone who caused me heartache and upset in the past.

If you like the new me then cool if you don’t then tough I’m never going back.

And I’m so proud of myself, I still have bad days and I know that one day someone will get me and will love me completely for just being me if given half the chance all I want to do is be happy but until then I’m like a elastic band I will always ping back ….

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

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𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝔹𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 & 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘

Good evening all.

I trust you are all well , and starting to get back to some sort of normality.

Tonight’s article i feel will be relatable to a wide audience , its that part of our lives we can find extremely confusing and also heart-breaking yes its love and relationship’s.

I get lots of messages from my readers asking for advice regarding love and relationship’s , I’m no dear Deidre but ive had my own share of heartbreak and confusion.

First i want to say to you all that read this article proceed with an open mind its just advice and my own added personal experience’s, so lets get to it.

The daunting experience of love and relationship’s it can leave us in quite a confused state , love makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do it can either evolve us or destroy us.

It all depends on how we react to certain situations, we live in a world were we are forced to always do the right thing the respectable thing even if sometimes it makes ourselves unhappy .

When it comes to finding another human being that we are compatible with it can be like finding a needle in a haystack.


Lets just address the elephant in the room here and just make something clear , there isn’t such thing as a perfect partner everyone has faults.

So lets throw away the perfect partner check list out shall we and be realistic here.

Dating isn’t anything like it used to be its all swipe left swipe right these days, There is an app for all sorts of things these days but are dating apps actually a useful tool to help you find the perfect partner.

Do you want me to be perfectly honest here… I’m going to say no sorry tinder …

I know some people may not agree here but remember what i said previously remain open minded.

I just think dating apps show pictures and its all about first impression’s on people and superficial looks.

How can you really get to know people from just a short bio of themselves on a site with millions of users.

It isn’t possible I’m not saying lets go back to the 1930’s what I’m trying to say is times have moved on but it still doesn’t hurt to use some of the traditional dating method’s.

So what if your already in a love connection and your unsure on what you want from your connection together.

If you find yourself in a connection where your unsure if you see future progress with that person the key is communication don’t waste your own time or the other parties time , because we all know that time is precious and you will never get it back.

Its always best to be honest and upfront i know sometimes its not easy to cause others heartbreak but you could be potentially be holding yourself and your partner back from finding more compatible connections.

I know its sad but sometimes we need to let go in order to progress.

This part of the article connects to everybody who maybe talking to someone and are having mixed signals from the other party.

Have you been talking a lot lately and all of a sudden communication slows down or do they completely go ghost on you well here are a few tips that i have learnt myself over the years.

  • Don’t make yourself so easily available to them, I know how it goes you get that texted message and you think oh i have to texted back straight away DONT!!!! there isn’t a law on how long you should wait to texted back but don’t make yourself so easy to be reachable.
  • They must understands that you need to study or hang out with friends or family, you need your own space it’s not healthy to spend 24 hours a day every day together.
  • Set Boundaries The right man or lady will step up to the plate and bring their A game. By conveying how you wish to be treated you are setting yourself up as the exceptionally high value human being that you are.
  • The three day texted rule this one’s for you if your being subjected to the ultimate male code of treat them mean keep them keen let’s ignore them for three days and see what happens rubbish, well lads your theory is outdated as the ark, by doing this incredibly silly tactic you could possibly make them loose complete interest in you sorry but we want consistency alongside space don’t confuse the two.

After going through my own in depth dating experiences .

That’s when I realized that as a society, we don’t teach our people about the things each of us desires most. We all want love.

We want relationships. 

We want to grow. 

This is what we imagine can happen in a great relationship, but most of us haven’t deleted our unconscious relationship programming.

 To change those habits into new ones, we have to do it with our hearts, not just our minds. Knowing something isn’t the same as being someone new. 

Love can be a beautiful experience if we allow ourselves to be honest with our own feelings , there isn’t any wrong or right way to date someone but you have to feel it in both your heart and mind, Both working symmetrically and in harmony .

Love to you All

Stacie xx