How To Starve A Narcissist

Hello my lovely people

Happy Sunday to you all I’m sorry I won’t be doing a weekly Spiritual Guidance Post this week I’m having a break, if truth be told I’m going to waste my whole Sunday playing sims 4.

Just because in sims I’ve got a better handle on life.

I’ve decided to do this post today because we have all dealt with a few narcissistic people in our life time.

You know the ones who are completely deluded that they have played a part in causing another human being pain.

It’s so easy to fall into a narcissistic trap because they are clever, at first they’ll say all right things and do all the right things to reel you in.

Once you have fallen into that black hole of nothingness it’s very difficult to pull yourself out of it.

It’s extremely difficult to remove yourself from a situation like this especially when you hold nothing but love for someone.

I can hundreds percent relate to the whole aspect of being in a connection with a certain individual.

That has these traits….

During the last few months of lockdown I feel its either gone two ways for people they have either been stuck within a narcissistic connection or have come within their power and a realisation that enough is enough and its time to act accordingly.

So how do you starve a narcissistic of your energy.

I know that a few of these steps won’t be easy for you but one thing I can promise you with time and self healing you will be fine.

This advice is from someone who’s been through it all yes it’s myself.

1. Go no contact.

This is the best option for you! If at all possible, cut all contact with him immediately and at once.

2. Be uninterested

This is the best option for you if you must have contact with the narcissist. Show no emotion, only answer the questions that must be answered and do so quick and to the point. Do not react at all to anything the narcissist says. Do not bite his bait of arguments or discussion about things that you’ve already discussed. Keep everything you say and do with him to an absolute minimum devoid of any emotion.

3. Keep it simple.

If you must have contact with the narcissist, keep all interaction brief. If he sends you a million texts, respond to only whatever is absolutely necessary. If you have to meet up, do what you came there for and nothing further. Again, remember – no emotion!

4. Walk away when their manipulative.

Whenever they starts to try to engage you, manipulate or blame you, walk away. Just end the conversation by leaving it. Don’t try to explain or reason with them about what’s happening. Just walk away. Soon you’ll train the narcissist that you aren’t available to be their energy supply any longer.

5. Don’t talk about the narcissist with people who know them.

If possible, don’t speak with them at all, but if you must, avoid details about your personal life and anything to do with the narcissist.

All of that information will end up making its way back to the narcissist and he or she can be fed energy from you through the third party. they will know what irks you and what buttons to push. they will know how their affecting you and you’ll continue to be seen as their energy source.

6. Set boundaries and don’t back down from them.

The reason the narcissist made their way into your life in the first place was because you didn’t have healthy boundaries in place.

Learn from that and implement the changes you need to make now!

Don’t feel bad for your boundaries and don’t reason your way out of enforcing them (i.e., “He or she doesn’t really know what he’s or she is doing,” or they are making improvements and he or she can change”). You teach other people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

7. Live your life.

Work on you, focus on you, build your future!

Don’t allow the narcissist to take any more of your time.

Set goals for yourself and celebrate when you reach them.

Build a healthy support system around you and don’t look back! There’s nothing for you back there.

Start implementing these things and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll find that the narcissist has no more hold on you!

One thing you always need to remember is that you hold the power to your own destiny we all get blindsided by love and connections but always believe in your own power to set boundaries and realise your self worth.

love to you all .

Stacie xxxx

Noticing details that no one else sees. #mentalhealthawareness

Good morning all

As I sit in my bed coffee in hand deep in thought feeling an element of Carrie Bradshaw from sex in the city.

Life is somewhat chaotic but peaceful at the same time.

Over the last year I have to say I’ve met some truly amazing people each with a story that’s so unique and both inspiring.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the moment and get trapped in your own bubble your oblivious to others around you.

Sometimes life gets so hectic we can forget about everything that’s truly important.

Reevaluating your life isn’t an easy task.

But In time it gets less complicated and more a way of life.

You become aware of the love around you and the connections you form.

Humans are unique each with a personal story that’s just waiting to be heard, we just need to vibe with people who want to listen.

I opened my eyes and my heart six months ago from then on I’ve come to realise that each of us walks on our own path.

Sometimes we walk same path but it’s never the exact same story we share.

Sometimes people just need someone to listen not to judge.

I’m sharing this blog with you all to raise awareness.

To check in with people around you I know life gets busy and there isn’t enough time in the Day.

But just sending a quick message can completely change someone’s day.

Let them know you care.

Sometimes that’s all people need is just to know people genuinely care.

Reassurance is needed from loved ones other than from their own mind.

The mind can be a dark place…

So be someones light.

Love Stacie xxxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#mentalhealthawareness

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕟𝕥

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.

Charlie Chaplin

Evening all

I hope you are all well.

I wanted to check in with you and let you know I’m still around in the background I’m just taking some time away from everyday hussle and bussle.

One thing I’ve come to realise these last few weeks is nothing is permanent in life, life can change instantly and it doesn’t matter how much we try and prevent something from happening we can’t.

Being a virgo for me is giving my all to every aspect of my life so at my job, at my home with my children and within my relationships.

I wear my heart on my sleeve I always have and putting other people first has always been a big stop block for me within all aspects of my life.

Truth is I care way to much about everything and I overthink far to much, I think with a realistic mind but I have a tenancy to be aggravated by people who are lazy and uncoordinated and people who play games.

It’s just my virgo traits.

I’ve worked very hard past few weeks on my mental health I’ve relapsed a few times had a few wobbles. I’ve been quite and unresponsive for a day or too I find it easier to shut down than try and explain my feelings.

It’s just way I’ve always be.

I’ve very lucky to have such a good support network around me i didn’t a few years ago but now I have people around me who understand when I’m having a bad day not to push me to far.

My blogging has slowed down abit again due to mostly me being busy but also to fear of getting on people’s nerves with all my posting but again like my mum says you don’t need to read if you don’t want to just…

You don’t need to justify anything you do to anyone.

Just have to be true to yourself.

Yes I may seem like an emotional lunatic very up and down when it comes to life, but you would be surprised how many people suffer in silance and pretend that they are OK.

I tell my story to help others sometimes along side the joking and everyday life blogs we need realisation that everyone is human and we all feel emotion and we all deal with life in different ways.

I tell mine through my writing along side my singing therapy.

And I really hope some people out there find comfort from my blog and sharing my experiences.

It’s been great to sit still for a while and catch my breath but slowly I’m coming back to myself….

P. S don’t forget to check out tommrow’s weekly Spiritual Guidance Blog.

Love to you all…

Stacie xx

Losing yourself to find yourself

Life is a funny old thing isn’t it?

How many of us find ourselves hoping for a better day ahead.

You can find yourself so wrapped up with daily routine and structure, you forget how much of your life is passing you by.

Do you crumble at the idea of not having a plan in place for every outting or experience in life.

Then you just maybe existing and not living.

A lot of people need structure and fear spontaneous life events.

The classic what if moment.

That fills us with anxiety and fear of rejection.

Some of the best experiences in life are followed by a ephiany moment….

We as humans are stronger than we think.

An advantage human can go through several transition in a lifetime its how we evolve and adapt to change.

As you know change is inevitable and if the universe thinks that you are heading in the wrong direction it will make changes for you.

We loose our true self for all sorts or reasons but one thing is pretty much certain we always find our way back to our authentic self.

It’s difficult feeling being lost and hopeless, not knowing what’s next.

But not every situation needs to be controlled and it doesn’t need a plan either.

If your like me then I find it extremely hard to let my guard down and trust people, I hate not knowing why and when, but one thing I’ve learnt is it doesn’t matter how much you need structure or answers you don’t always get it.

For myself now don’t force anything any more because anything that needs to be forced isn’t worth having.

And great things can happen when you loosen the grip of needed to control everything.

There’s no magic eight ball…

But you have your intuition so use it well and trust the process only then will you find the way back to your authentic self.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

ℝ𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕠 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

Evening all

I thought I would do a little blog on where I’m at just to let you all know why I’m not around as much at the moment.

Well the title says it all radio silence for the people who haven’t heard this saying before I will explain below.

It means a  period of time when someone does not communicate with another person or other people.

Seems dramatic I know but its my choice.

I’ve needed to strip back every aspect in my life and look at what direction I was heading towards.

Believe me it wasn’t healthy to some extent I’m still battling with my demons.

I’ve been through a very long period of heartache and self loathing for such a long time I’ve just had enough.

Closing the last chapter was the hardest and I have one last hurdle to get over before I can truly move forward.

I suppose you have to fully let the old layers of yourself fall away before you can heal and rebuild yourself.

I’ve given so much of myself to people who didn’t deserve me.

Now I know that and it’s difficult for me to pull my energy back.

But it’s what’s needed for me to be the best person I can be.


It’s time for me to take back my power and allow myself to put myself first.

So I’ve decided to pull back my energy from social media even though its a great place to reach out and put yourself our there I don’t feel I’m 100% ready for it.

With me trying to engage with people I found it’s drained me physically and emotionally.

I just simply can’t find the strength to deal with other peoples issues at the moment it makes me  hypocritical giving our advice and not listing to my own inner wisdom.

I’ve decided to not post anymore pictures or videos of myself at the moment because Im really not happy within myself and because I want people to get to know the real me not just the outside exterior of myself.

Tommrow I’m back on my health kick and the universe is giving me a massive…
To move forward so I will be back after some me time and I will come back better and stronger.

Love to you all ❤️

Stacie xxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog
#bekind
#selflove

Change The Game Or The Game Changes you.

Have you ever been under an illusion or under someone’s spell let me just add it will hurt like hell but once your eyes are open you will understand everything you saw through rose tinted glasses was just an illusion.

It takes a stronger person to see their worth I stared this blog in 2019 I was a quivering mess, a truly broken soul but now I hardly see any trace of the old me.

I upped my game and changed the way i played it.

I understood that there was parts of myself that I needed to change in order to progress.

Ive been on a journey of self discovery , don’t get me wrong , I’m no cold hearted person but I don’t just sit there anymore , what’s the point in just being someone’s emotional punchbag , say what you want about me but one thing will always remain and that’s my ability to be loyal.

Stop looking for the old Stacie she’s not here anymore pain changes people , disappointment changes people it makes you stronger.

Don’t try and force Karma she always finds the ones who deserve it.

I’m trying to reach out to people who are going through a tough time , the people with broken hearts you will get through it , it takes time and when the healing is done you won’t heal back the same way but your wounds will make you stronger.

Years ive been plagued by mental health , self doubt and emotional abuse after my fight to save my own soul i can honestly say I’ve taken back my power and my mind my heart and my soul is my own.

I can finally breathe after so long of holding my breath I can feel my heart beating I feel alive.

Saturday the 10th of October is world mental health day

World Mental Health Day aims to raise awareness in the global community around mental health issues, “with a unifying voice through collaboration with various partners”.

Its Extremely important to raise awareness

We all deserve to feel safe and supported when talking about our mental health. But too often, mental health stigma leaves people feeling isolated and ashamed. At worst, it prevents people from speaking out but help is available.

I got through it through pure strength and amazing support I know some aren’t so lucky to have a good support network but there is help out there but also it takes strength and you will find it.

Check out this link below …

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/get-involved/world-mental-health-day

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

It’s one small step in the right direction that lead to the most adventurous paths.

Evening all

I hope your OK

Apologies for the lack of blogging but life’s been a little upside down lately.

Have you ever had that feeling of a. Weight being lifted from you it’s like seeing blue skies after a very dark storm.

This is where Im at now I’ve been through the worst of if and I’m finally realising that I deserve to put my own needs first.

Trouble is I give more out than I ever receive then I end up burning myself out in the process.

Its OK to put myself first it’s OK to say no.

Focusing on yourself is extremely important, growth is extremely important.

Moving on is important leaving the past behind is essential.

You can’t change what’s happened.

But you can learn from the experience and use it in your future.

I’ve literally grown so far away from who I used to be at times I’m unrecognisable even to myself.

But as one door shuts another is waiting to open.

Something better and more for filling.

I’ve always been held back and too scared to be myself in fear of what other people think.

But that’s not me any more.

I’m not perfect I don’t look amazing all time, I’m not always happy, I get annoyed & like to be left alone sometimes.

But that’s just me.

But I’ve realised it’s time to move on I’m ready to move on and work on the life I deserve.

My heart will always be happy helping people but I have to remind myself that I need to also help myself.

Today was a great day I purchased my first ever size 12/14 pj’s I’m so overwhelmed I’ve not been a size 12 since high school.

Massive achievement…

I’m also exited to be working with Acti Labs Super excited I will be posting another blog along with details soon but their products are my absolute favourite that’s why I have taken a leap of faith and I’ve chosen to work alongside them.

You will be able to purchase direct from me but again I’ll put all details on another blog post for you all.

Thank you so much for all your support and love I’m so grateful.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

Two Way Street

Evening all

Been a while since my last late night blog.

I’ve always had the the ability to tell the truth regarding situations and my own emotions.

This blog this evening is something that I’ve been struggling to come to terms with.

And that’s understanding that when it comes to love and relationships it simply can’t be all onesided.

I know most people have dealt with similar situations in regards to connections.

Can anyone here genuinely say they have ever been so in love that they would do anything to make the other person happy and completely disregarding their own feelings in order to be more appealing to the other party I know I have.

You know how it goes you play it cool try and keep busy but all your waiting for is the next….

To then find that it never comes.

One thing I’ve realised is that connections work both ways effort needs to come from both sides.

Your not the one who takes orders from a ringleader.

You make your own rules and follow them as you wish.

Over the years I’ve put my everything into my connections with people, I’ve really gone above board to make people happy, trouble is with me, I wear my heart on my sleeve I always have, and I love to love it’s just in my nature.

One thing I’ve realised over the past few months is that sometimes the universe will remove toxic people from your life other times you must remove them yourself.

Those who bring ill intentions into our lives do not or will not love us.

They will simply take what they need then leave.

That isn’t someone who loves you.

Love and respect is a two way street.

Never wait for someone to change their mind regarding their feelings.

That may never happen which leaves you feeling deflated.

Always be true to you but when the times right you will meet someone who understands you completely and no matter what the feelings will be mutual never onesided.

Loving all the wrong people prepares us to completely be ourselves and be at peace in our lives.

But most importantly it prepares us to receive the love we all deserve.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

Listen… It’s not your job to be everything to everyone.

Evening all I’ve not late night blogged for a while but it’s Sunday evening and

I’m filled with anxiety again.

There’s days where I need to have a moment to myself just to put my head straight.

It’s extremely difficult to be one hundred percent who you are these days.

I find that people are very judgmental and quick to jump to conclusions.

Without the facts.

I have to say that sometimes humans don’t have an alternative motif for just simply being helpful or truthful.

Sometimes it’s just in their nature to be honest without fear and to want to work hard to make a difference.

I truly believe that the current situation I find myself in is exactly where I need to be, you find yourself in certain situations in life where there is either lessons to be learnt or truth to be given in order for change to take place.

Somethings been stagnant for to long stubborn for change then….

You smack bang in the middle of a situation you either need to learn from or make a difference.

One thing I’ve realised is when you see through people your not very well liked that’s a know fact.

When your real and disconnect from the drama that’s when you become the drama and in no way shape or form have I got time for drama.

I’m literally at that stage where I still feel anxious and some days I’m not as strong.

But honestly your put on this earth to yes be thoughtful of others but to also be thoughtful of yourself.

I can’t stress enough to people if your struggling to juggle life and struggling with the people around you.

Distance is sometimes the best key you can never pour from an empty cup.

You can make sure your vessel is fine but if the minds off balance then the two don’t work in harmony.

Don’t put to much pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent, sibling, partner, friend or work colleague.

You need to nurture your own soul before you give to others.

When people try and drag you into Drama don’t fall for it, if it’s not your issue then leave it, some people don’t like the truth and can be….

But don’t fall for it you can’t fix everything or everyone so don’t try to.

Just be honest to yourself and honest with others and if your respected for it great if not there’s no love lost.

Good night everyone

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

Getting Back To Normal

Good Afternoon All.

I hope your having a great bank holiday tomorrow my annual leave is over and it’s back to work for me.

As the Country tries to get back to some sort of normality, I know there will be many apprehensive parents regarding sending children back into full time education.

I don’t normally talk about my children on my blog but, I wanted to share my experience dealing with my own children and current pandemic covid 19 and how its affected there social needs.

I am fully aware that I’m not the only parent who has had similar issues especially if you have older children in high school .

When lockdown hit a state of national panic set in it’s a situation when have never had to deal with undoubtable it was freighting at times , the fear of daily life’s restricted and of course catching the virus and spreading it to more vulnerable people was a massive worry , schools , shops , entertainment venues where forced to shut people where continually glued to social media and the news.

As a parent we have to try and be strong for our children me I’m already O.C.D about my kids touching things and being to far away from me unless their in a secure environment like school or with family.

But what i haven’t really understood until now is how its deeply affected them both mentally and physically.

School is a normal way of life its six hours from Monday to Friday where they are learning, mixing with friends without the influence of parents.

School helps children grow it gives them their confidence and helps them widen there skills to help them through the early stages of Life.

I’ve seen mixed emotions online regarding children going back to school , if you want my honest view and this is totally my personal opinion on it all , I may get some negative press regarding this but honestly it’s just how I perceive the situation

It’s time for them to go back , of course they will not be able to mix with children in a normal manner but at least its a start to bringing back their normal routine.

I have to say home schooling has been somewhat stressful its been many years since I was school and the curriculum has changed so much i know I’m not the only parent who will agree.

My youngest child has asked many questions regarding Covid and ive tried to give the most honest replies some time’s its not been easy but we have managed to explain the best way we know how.

My eldest i feel has been frightened it got to the point I’ve had to remove her social media with there being a lot of fake news she can be very vulnerable so i felt it was the best outcome to try and ease her anxiety.

When talking to our children about difficult situations it can leave us a wreck it makes us really question our abilities as parents, here we have tiny humans who are like sponges may I add they absorb all information that may not hold the complete truth, that in itself causes anxiety and depression over time.

Ive watched my children closely over this pandemic and ive noticed certain negative changes and its been challenging even more than normal.

Ive tried to put plans in place to help them both progress but what i have found out is that being open and talking to each other on a level a child or teenager would understand its helped ease their worries.

I have listed a few tips below to help worried parents , try not to be to hard on yourself either.

  • Don’t be afraid to talk about it: Convey the facts and set an emotionally reassuring tone.
  • Be age-appropriate: Teens can process and handle a higher level of detail than five year olds. Focus on answering your child/student’s questions. Do your best to answer honestly and clearly; it’s okay if you can’t answer everything.
  • Follow their lead: Invite your child or student to ask questions and share their perspective: Invite them to tell you anything they may have heard about the coronavirus and express how they feel.
  • Check yourself: Feeling anxious? Take some time to calm down before trying to have a conversation or answer your child’s questions.
  • Focus on actions you can take: Emphasize safety precautions everyone can take to help keep themselves and others healthy: good hand hygiene, cough and sneeze etiquette, social distancing and staying home if you aren’t feeling well.
  • Stick to routine: Structured days with regular mealtimes and bedtimes are an essential part of keeping kids happy and healthy.
  • Keep talking: Tell kids/students you will keep them updated as you learn more. Let them know the lines of communication are going to be open and as you learn more, you will share the information with them, too.

Please feel free to share this image with your children.

(Not schools are recommending facemasks’ be sure to check your child’s school for guidelines )

I know there will be many worried parents over the next few days but we are all in this together please remember that school’s have guidelines that they need to stick by ordered by the government like everything a massive learning curve for us all i do feel this will be the way of life for a while.

But its so important that we address the mental health side of this pandemic within children as they are the next generation and support and structure is needed.

Im sending love to you all.

Stacie x