How To Starve A Narcissist

Hello my lovely people

Happy Sunday to you all I’m sorry I won’t be doing a weekly Spiritual Guidance Post this week I’m having a break, if truth be told I’m going to waste my whole Sunday playing sims 4.

Just because in sims I’ve got a better handle on life.

I’ve decided to do this post today because we have all dealt with a few narcissistic people in our life time.

You know the ones who are completely deluded that they have played a part in causing another human being pain.

It’s so easy to fall into a narcissistic trap because they are clever, at first they’ll say all right things and do all the right things to reel you in.

Once you have fallen into that black hole of nothingness it’s very difficult to pull yourself out of it.

It’s extremely difficult to remove yourself from a situation like this especially when you hold nothing but love for someone.

I can hundreds percent relate to the whole aspect of being in a connection with a certain individual.

That has these traits….

During the last few months of lockdown I feel its either gone two ways for people they have either been stuck within a narcissistic connection or have come within their power and a realisation that enough is enough and its time to act accordingly.

So how do you starve a narcissistic of your energy.

I know that a few of these steps won’t be easy for you but one thing I can promise you with time and self healing you will be fine.

This advice is from someone who’s been through it all yes it’s myself.

1. Go no contact.

This is the best option for you! If at all possible, cut all contact with him immediately and at once.

2. Be uninterested

This is the best option for you if you must have contact with the narcissist. Show no emotion, only answer the questions that must be answered and do so quick and to the point. Do not react at all to anything the narcissist says. Do not bite his bait of arguments or discussion about things that you’ve already discussed. Keep everything you say and do with him to an absolute minimum devoid of any emotion.

3. Keep it simple.

If you must have contact with the narcissist, keep all interaction brief. If he sends you a million texts, respond to only whatever is absolutely necessary. If you have to meet up, do what you came there for and nothing further. Again, remember – no emotion!

4. Walk away when their manipulative.

Whenever they starts to try to engage you, manipulate or blame you, walk away. Just end the conversation by leaving it. Don’t try to explain or reason with them about what’s happening. Just walk away. Soon you’ll train the narcissist that you aren’t available to be their energy supply any longer.

5. Don’t talk about the narcissist with people who know them.

If possible, don’t speak with them at all, but if you must, avoid details about your personal life and anything to do with the narcissist.

All of that information will end up making its way back to the narcissist and he or she can be fed energy from you through the third party. they will know what irks you and what buttons to push. they will know how their affecting you and you’ll continue to be seen as their energy source.

6. Set boundaries and don’t back down from them.

The reason the narcissist made their way into your life in the first place was because you didn’t have healthy boundaries in place.

Learn from that and implement the changes you need to make now!

Don’t feel bad for your boundaries and don’t reason your way out of enforcing them (i.e., “He or she doesn’t really know what he’s or she is doing,” or they are making improvements and he or she can change”). You teach other people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

7. Live your life.

Work on you, focus on you, build your future!

Don’t allow the narcissist to take any more of your time.

Set goals for yourself and celebrate when you reach them.

Build a healthy support system around you and don’t look back! There’s nothing for you back there.

Start implementing these things and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll find that the narcissist has no more hold on you!

One thing you always need to remember is that you hold the power to your own destiny we all get blindsided by love and connections but always believe in your own power to set boundaries and realise your self worth.

love to you all .

Stacie xxxx

Losing yourself to find yourself

Life is a funny old thing isn’t it?

How many of us find ourselves hoping for a better day ahead.

You can find yourself so wrapped up with daily routine and structure, you forget how much of your life is passing you by.

Do you crumble at the idea of not having a plan in place for every outting or experience in life.

Then you just maybe existing and not living.

A lot of people need structure and fear spontaneous life events.

The classic what if moment.

That fills us with anxiety and fear of rejection.

Some of the best experiences in life are followed by a ephiany moment….

We as humans are stronger than we think.

An advantage human can go through several transition in a lifetime its how we evolve and adapt to change.

As you know change is inevitable and if the universe thinks that you are heading in the wrong direction it will make changes for you.

We loose our true self for all sorts or reasons but one thing is pretty much certain we always find our way back to our authentic self.

It’s difficult feeling being lost and hopeless, not knowing what’s next.

But not every situation needs to be controlled and it doesn’t need a plan either.

If your like me then I find it extremely hard to let my guard down and trust people, I hate not knowing why and when, but one thing I’ve learnt is it doesn’t matter how much you need structure or answers you don’t always get it.

For myself now don’t force anything any more because anything that needs to be forced isn’t worth having.

And great things can happen when you loosen the grip of needed to control everything.

There’s no magic eight ball…

But you have your intuition so use it well and trust the process only then will you find the way back to your authentic self.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

ℝ𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕠 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

Evening all

I thought I would do a little blog on where I’m at just to let you all know why I’m not around as much at the moment.

Well the title says it all radio silence for the people who haven’t heard this saying before I will explain below.

It means a  period of time when someone does not communicate with another person or other people.

Seems dramatic I know but its my choice.

I’ve needed to strip back every aspect in my life and look at what direction I was heading towards.

Believe me it wasn’t healthy to some extent I’m still battling with my demons.

I’ve been through a very long period of heartache and self loathing for such a long time I’ve just had enough.

Closing the last chapter was the hardest and I have one last hurdle to get over before I can truly move forward.

I suppose you have to fully let the old layers of yourself fall away before you can heal and rebuild yourself.

I’ve given so much of myself to people who didn’t deserve me.

Now I know that and it’s difficult for me to pull my energy back.

But it’s what’s needed for me to be the best person I can be.


It’s time for me to take back my power and allow myself to put myself first.

So I’ve decided to pull back my energy from social media even though its a great place to reach out and put yourself our there I don’t feel I’m 100% ready for it.

With me trying to engage with people I found it’s drained me physically and emotionally.

I just simply can’t find the strength to deal with other peoples issues at the moment it makes me  hypocritical giving our advice and not listing to my own inner wisdom.

I’ve decided to not post anymore pictures or videos of myself at the moment because Im really not happy within myself and because I want people to get to know the real me not just the outside exterior of myself.

Tommrow I’m back on my health kick and the universe is giving me a massive…
To move forward so I will be back after some me time and I will come back better and stronger.

Love to you all ❤️

Stacie xxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog
#bekind
#selflove

𝟛𝟘 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘

Evening all…

This will be my last blog post at the age of 32 tomorrow is my birthday.

Do you even celebrate when your in your 30’s my answer to that is yes.

I’ve made it to 33 after everything I’ve been through I’ve made it.

It’s been tough lifes not been kind but im grateful I’m here and I’m alive.


What does being thirty three years of age mean to me and how will I be making changes for the foreseeable future.

After a few wobbly weeks I’ve been really thinking about myself as a person and how I approach situations.

I’ve realised that it’s time to move on from anything or anyone that’s caused me great harm.

Worst thing to do in the world of hold on to a grudge you only ever hurt yourself in the process…


The other issue I have is feeling guilty for actually living my life the way I want too and having to keep other people happy, I’m not doing it anymore so heads up people Stacie  is going to do what she wants to do and if it upsets the apple cart tough..


You get to a point in life you can’t keep worrying about other people.

Keep yourself in check make yourself happy because no one else will do it for you.

I’ll always be me but an upgraded version of my old self.

I’m finding people are seeking the old version of myself but she’s just not there anymore.

I’ve made  huge progress so far I’m not going to stop now.

The diet is back tommrow after a weekend of eating out and gin..

My aim is to loose another stone by end of September.

It’s achievable but I’ll need to be strict and keep active.

So what are my birthday plans well I’ll be on my own just the way I like it hopefully weather is OK.

I will head down my local beach and grab a coffee somewhere and watch the world go by.

I do have plans to see one of my best friends and my other friend at the end of September for a girlie night out with  festival vibes but until then it will be hard work and dedication.

And growing a little bit stronger each day.

I hope you have a fantastic week ahead don’t let people get you down and keep smiling.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx


𝟙𝟘 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

I never thought I had the motivation to make a change to my lifestyle and eating habits but after a few rough months and lots of heartache.

I decided it was time to make drastic changes.

I didn’t want to just lose the weight that was holding me back but I wanted to work on my self-worth and learn to love myself again.
Over the past ten years, as I’ve gradually yoyo dieted and lost and gained weight.

I’ve been aware of so many changes – not just in my body but life in general.

But this time round I’ve worked my hardest.

Here are 10 things that you don’t expect to happen when you lose weight…

1.Your skin will loosen and head to your feet.

I know, gross. Once you start dropping the pounds, everyone experiences this and its not always exercise that helps with excess skin in fact it doesn’t hardly help at all.

This has to be one of my main issues at the moment it’s been getting to me that bad I’ve actually consulted two private medical practices to ask about paid surgery to remove excess skin.

It’s unbearable at times.

2. Itchy skin and sore stretch marks.

If you have lost weight and have stretch marks from either having children or rapid weight gain.

The healing process of shrinking stretch marks is terrible if you have this problem too then you feel my pain.

3.Your boobs will shrink.

I miss the fullness of my boobs.

Don’t get me wrong, they are still a good handful but not quite what they were.

I’ve reversed two cup sizes which is good for me due to less back pain and better fitting underwear.

4.You feel guilty for even looking at a freddo

I’m more relaxed with my eating now but in the first few months I would feel so guilty if I ate something ‘naughty’. Do allow yourself treats (weekends are a good time for this) but in moderation, of course!

5.You become a boring .

I’m sure I’ve bored friends and family with my nutritional advice as they bite into a sandwich. Sorry.

It’s just because you feel so passionate about your own body and taking care of it you just try and help others.

That can sometimes come across as being over boring with annoying weight loss information.

6. Constantly having to be careful when buying new items of clothing.

This should be enjoyable and a happier side of weightloss infact the whole thing just stresses me out, down to remembering you don’t need your past bigger sizes.

To not wanting to spend a small fortune on clothes that may not fit you after more increased weightloss.

7. The true understanding that being thin doesn’t make you happier.

True statement there, just because being thin changes your body and mental attitude it doesn’t mean that all your problems will disappear.

Remember that your weight doesn’t define you as a person.

8. Maintaining the weight loss.

Maintenance can be even harder than losing the weight itself. When I began my journey, I was fueled by success, non-scale victories, and a newfound confidence I gained from becoming a healthier and happier me. But once I began to reach that weight range I’d been gunning for, I started to think, “Well, I’ve already lost a ton of weight.

So adapting my future healthy eating plan for long term process wasn’t going to be easy.

9. My relationships with friends and family have changed; some have grown stronger, and some have become more distant.

When you embark on a big lifestyle change like this, you aren’t just adjusting your eating habits and physical activity. Your interests, hobbies, and thought processes change, too. Even my relationships have changed.
Some friendships have grown apart, because our relationships were so heavily fueled by social drinking and eating.

I think the hardest part about this lifestyle change is that I never anticipated my friendships would shift.

10. I am still scared that I will spiral out of control and gain everything back.

This is an irrational thought, but it is also a very real one. It is especially heightened when I’m traveling or enjoying life and I go in the “fuck it, I’m on vacation” mode, and I binge to the point where I’m not sure I can come back from it.

Like going hard on sweets or alcohol hiding it from friends out of guilt, or overeating in general.

I’m aware that this is a problem for me, and it terrifies me when I lose control that way.

While I would be upset if I reversed my hard work, I think there’s a deeper fear there of disappointing everyone else and having my failure displayed on a very public level.

So there you have it the truth that no one tells you during the process of losing weight…

I hope I’ve helped 😊

Love to you all

Stacie xx

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#bekind

#selflove

#ukblogger

#honesty

#begreatful

#bloggersofinstagram

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕌𝕡

Hiya Everyone

I hope you have had a great day I would like to say I have but that hasn’t been the case.

Do you know when you roll out of bed in the morning and you know its not going to be a great day both emotionally and physically, most the time these days I have my shit together.

But today I felt like the whole world was against me, my anxiety attacks are less and less these days since I’ve found my confidence back but still one slips through the cracks of that barrier that ive built so high around my soul and every now and again the old Stacie tries to remerge from the shadows and i have to rain her back into the darkness because that jush isn’t me anymore.

This blog post I’ve wanted to post for along time now and I’ve been putting it off for a while but i think its time to share it with you all.

To the people who know me in person who read my blog will understand exactly how I’ve been feeling and hopefully you will understand why I’ve needed to do what I have done to simply keep my head above water and to stop myself from drowning.

Up until the last six months Ive been at war with myself , my mind and my heart trying to align all three has been a battle and half.

I’ve always put others first and always put myself last just to make other people happy.

Ive loved and not always been loved back the old unrequited love is an arsehole.

I’ve sat there and listened and let someone pull me apart piece by piece for simply being me.

Ive kept calm when the fire inside me had raged.

I’ve been battered and bruised by my own self confidence.

Until that day comes and you think you know enough is enough I’m not taking this anymore.

I got up that morning in February and thought this is the last time i will allow my life and the people around me to control me..

It started with some external changes I was so determined to loose weight as that held my confidence back massively and I knew I had to drastically do something to achieve what i wanted so that was the first step for me.

So then the hair changed you always know when a women means business she changes her hair said coco channel , so that’s when my transformation really started when the red hair came along , that in itself gave me a lot of confidence.

Over the past 7 months i have worked on my surroundings and the company i kept.

I had taken a step back from anyone who brings drama to my life, I’m not about the drama, I just want a peaceful life.

One thing I realised when your going through a glow up is that some people will support you others will completely turn on you.

Ive been called nasty and evil plus lot more but i know that’s not me at all.

That’s the kind of people I haven’t got time for anymore.

We all go through bad times i know but its how we choose to evolve from it.

You see some people don’t like other people evolving due to their own insecurities, that’s when you realise that your energies are not meant to combine.

Your eyes open and you truly see people and situations that you once where involved with and think what the hell was i doing.

Transformation does that to you.

So what are my plans for the near future I’m sure that people will have something to say but you know what its my life my body I will do what makes me happy.

I don’t go into things blind I do my research..

so I’m fast approaching 33 and its time to start taking proper care of myself as vain as that sounds but again my choice, so i have been in touch with the Harley medical group to see if they will sort my loose skin from weight loss, that for me is a massive step in the mean time i will just have to put up with it.

Its ok people saying you look fine but its my choice i have to do what makes me happy and i would never go to the extreme.

So the glow up after such a rubbish time is amazing and I’m in this bubble at the moment where I feel untouchable from anything or anyone who caused me heartache and upset in the past.

If you like the new me then cool if you don’t then tough I’m never going back.

And I’m so proud of myself, I still have bad days and I know that one day someone will get me and will love me completely for just being me if given half the chance all I want to do is be happy but until then I’m like a elastic band I will always ping back ….

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#weightlossjourney

#fitnessjourney

#weightloss

𝔾𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝔹𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕆𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕤

Good Afternoon all.

I hope you are well, I just wanted to do a quick blog about a new exciting opportunity I have decided to progress forward with.

I’m not sure if any other fellow bloggers have come across the term guest blogging, but its Guest blogging, also called “guest posting,” is the act of writing content for another company or sole talent.

But why have I chosen to showcase other people’s business and talent’s I hear you ask.

I feel its extremely important to help each other grow there are times in life where we need to be selfish but when it comes to empowerment and recognising other peoples talents it doesn’t help to show your support.

All throughout my younger years ive built up my talent skills and I can really put my hand to mostly anything call me del boy but honestly there isn’t anything I wont try and learn to help with my own progression.

But what I lacked was support and people willing to help me grow so after a few failed attempts I know how gut wrenching it feels when you fail due to lack of support.

So here I am the universe gave me a sign to empower people and showcase their business and talents.

And it maybe only a small gesture of my own good will but from one small gesture can come some amazing opportunities.

All my life ive been selfless and I’ve always wanted to help others I suppose I wear my heart on my sleeve but I truly know how hard it is to be heard in a world that’s always so noisy.

So here is my pitch i hope it draws you in to work along side me lets help each other grow.

Once a month i will be giving away one free guest blog spot on my own blog seashells and lipgloss blog.

This post will stay on my blog indefinitely so that new readers will always be able read your blog and get to know your business and your talent’s leading them to choose to follow your journey through your own social media accounts and lead to potential clientele growth.

I’m looking for…

Artist’s , Musicians’, Photographer’s , All Small Businesses , Charites, Venues , Creative Writer’s.

I’m open to new talent opportunities also it doesn’t just have to be what’s listed above.

If your interested in what I have to offer please email me on..

seashellsandlipglossblog@gmail.com or via my contact block below

 

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕎𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕀𝕥 𝕋𝕠..

Hello all

I hope you are all well i know

I always start my blogs of the same way i suppose i want people to know that wherever you are in the world I’m sending my well wishes .

Sometimes just a few words can completely change someone’s day.

As i sit in my new office cup of tea in hand my imagination goes wild its always this time of night where i feel like i can actually breathe sometimes its the simple things in life us humans need just to soothe the soul.

Its not about what you have left behind or what’s in your future its about where you are now in the present that’s all that counts.

I’m going to share with you all a short story about Harry and Mark.

It was a perfect summers day in the height of a busy dinner hour an elderly gentleman called Harry sits down on his usual bench in City Hall Park .

The bench held special memories of when Harry and his dearly beloved wife Susie used to sit and watch the world go by.

After Harry’s wife passed away he would always keep up their daily routine just because to him that was Harry’s happy place.

At that exact moment in the finance district was Mark after a busy morning of meetings and Linda from H.R spoiling his $900 suit he had already had enough of the day.

Escaping the hustle of the office and the noise of the city he found himself in City Hall Park.

Where he sat next to Harry they exchanged a simple hello.

But Harry could see the strain on Marks face, Tough day huh ?

Mark replied a little , sometimes i don’t know what its all for ?

You have a little bit more life experience any advice Mark asked Harry.

Yes of course i do ? but its only advice said Harry.

Do you have regrets Harry, plenty but its in the past i can’t change the past he replied.

Do you look to the future said Mark , not really Harry replied the future is never set in stone it can change in an instant.

So what do you look to asked Mark, Harry simply replied the present.

The present said Mark !!!

You need to look at what’s around you in the present moment are you happy are you alive or just existing , are you in love and have you ever found yourself even in the darkest of places.

Because know this one thing what’s important in life can’t be brought like real love ,trust , inner peace and time.

Mark said I’ve not really thought about it in that way before Harry , I’m in a relationship but I’m under a lot of pressure to take the next step, and I’m not sure if she’s the one , Harry replied.

If you love her you will know you will feel it deep down in the pit of your stomach if she is the one if you don’t feel it you have your answer.

I also work to hard and long hours i don’t see my family enough i don’t take vacation’s , im simply relied on by my boss to give 100% all the time and it’s so exhausting.

Harry replied simply tell him no and take a vacation go see your family.

Work will always be there when you get back but your loved ones won’t always be here, you simply need to find balance.

Find out what’s important to you and let everything else go.

What would a random Old man who hasn’t got time on his side say to his younger self.

He would say son fall in love whenever possible, don’t work so hard, and use your time wisely.

Change what doesn’t seem to fit and take risks.

That afternoon on that bench in City Hall Park words of wisdom were exchanged and lives were changed forever.

Sometimes all we need is a little bit of direction and a fresh mindset to make changes don’t ever feel weak for asking advice even if it’s from a complete stranger.

Be open and listen it just might change your life.

Love to you all
Stacie xx

#seashellsandlipglossblog
#bekind
#selflove
#ukblogger
#honesty
#begreatful

My Under The Stairs Office

Good Afternoon Everyone .

I hope you are all well and having a great weekend.

Today I’ve been busy finishing my own little office space ,i needed somewhere i could use to be creative other than blogging from my bedroom or my sofa.

My home isn’t a huge house its three bedroom home with two sitting areas there isn’t much space to call your own other than my bedroom.

But its home and its mine.

Having two children can kind of take over the place and ive always put them first so mum needed some space to be creative and in between a day time job i also run my blog , and my custom apparel business.

So life can become pretty madness at times as you can imagine.

I had been wanting to create a small office space for a while but I was debating on where and how I was going to achieve it on a budget .

So i have two storage cupboards in my hallway which where absolutely full of crap that no one wanted but i couldn’t be bothered to sort through and throw away but i finally got round to sorting it all out and i had a empty space a blank canvas if you like.

I had a budget of £200 which I’m happy to say i was under budget by £76.01, money saving always makes me happy.

I’m going to show you before and after picture …..

Desk was from Argos £50 , Chair also Argos £12

Paint and glitter was both from B& M bargains so was my flooring £20

My accessories Were from both Home Bargains & B& M Bargains

Wire Shelving £10 , Various Stationary and storage boxes £20

Candles and faux Plants £5

Wall stickers Where from Ebay Seller Kruger Stickers £3.49 for 90 Dalmatian Spots .

Lighting Are Battery powered and from Home Bargain’s £3.99 for three and they are so bright they also come with a remote.

Overall its not taken that long and i did have a bit of help.

I’m happy now i have a place to blog and be creative and also market my business.

Now i can get on with other projects i have been putting off for a while.

Have a fabulous evening all , im now going to relax with a classic amaretto and coke maybe cheeky whiskey in the mix.

Love to You All

Stacie xx

#seashellsandlipglossblog