How To Starve A Narcissist

Hello my lovely people

Happy Sunday to you all I’m sorry I won’t be doing a weekly Spiritual Guidance Post this week I’m having a break, if truth be told I’m going to waste my whole Sunday playing sims 4.

Just because in sims I’ve got a better handle on life.

I’ve decided to do this post today because we have all dealt with a few narcissistic people in our life time.

You know the ones who are completely deluded that they have played a part in causing another human being pain.

It’s so easy to fall into a narcissistic trap because they are clever, at first they’ll say all right things and do all the right things to reel you in.

Once you have fallen into that black hole of nothingness it’s very difficult to pull yourself out of it.

It’s extremely difficult to remove yourself from a situation like this especially when you hold nothing but love for someone.

I can hundreds percent relate to the whole aspect of being in a connection with a certain individual.

That has these traits….

During the last few months of lockdown I feel its either gone two ways for people they have either been stuck within a narcissistic connection or have come within their power and a realisation that enough is enough and its time to act accordingly.

So how do you starve a narcissistic of your energy.

I know that a few of these steps won’t be easy for you but one thing I can promise you with time and self healing you will be fine.

This advice is from someone who’s been through it all yes it’s myself.

1. Go no contact.

This is the best option for you! If at all possible, cut all contact with him immediately and at once.

2. Be uninterested

This is the best option for you if you must have contact with the narcissist. Show no emotion, only answer the questions that must be answered and do so quick and to the point. Do not react at all to anything the narcissist says. Do not bite his bait of arguments or discussion about things that you’ve already discussed. Keep everything you say and do with him to an absolute minimum devoid of any emotion.

3. Keep it simple.

If you must have contact with the narcissist, keep all interaction brief. If he sends you a million texts, respond to only whatever is absolutely necessary. If you have to meet up, do what you came there for and nothing further. Again, remember – no emotion!

4. Walk away when their manipulative.

Whenever they starts to try to engage you, manipulate or blame you, walk away. Just end the conversation by leaving it. Don’t try to explain or reason with them about what’s happening. Just walk away. Soon you’ll train the narcissist that you aren’t available to be their energy supply any longer.

5. Don’t talk about the narcissist with people who know them.

If possible, don’t speak with them at all, but if you must, avoid details about your personal life and anything to do with the narcissist.

All of that information will end up making its way back to the narcissist and he or she can be fed energy from you through the third party. they will know what irks you and what buttons to push. they will know how their affecting you and you’ll continue to be seen as their energy source.

6. Set boundaries and don’t back down from them.

The reason the narcissist made their way into your life in the first place was because you didn’t have healthy boundaries in place.

Learn from that and implement the changes you need to make now!

Don’t feel bad for your boundaries and don’t reason your way out of enforcing them (i.e., “He or she doesn’t really know what he’s or she is doing,” or they are making improvements and he or she can change”). You teach other people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

7. Live your life.

Work on you, focus on you, build your future!

Don’t allow the narcissist to take any more of your time.

Set goals for yourself and celebrate when you reach them.

Build a healthy support system around you and don’t look back! There’s nothing for you back there.

Start implementing these things and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll find that the narcissist has no more hold on you!

One thing you always need to remember is that you hold the power to your own destiny we all get blindsided by love and connections but always believe in your own power to set boundaries and realise your self worth.

love to you all .

Stacie xxxx

Losing yourself to find yourself

Life is a funny old thing isn’t it?

How many of us find ourselves hoping for a better day ahead.

You can find yourself so wrapped up with daily routine and structure, you forget how much of your life is passing you by.

Do you crumble at the idea of not having a plan in place for every outting or experience in life.

Then you just maybe existing and not living.

A lot of people need structure and fear spontaneous life events.

The classic what if moment.

That fills us with anxiety and fear of rejection.

Some of the best experiences in life are followed by a ephiany moment….

We as humans are stronger than we think.

An advantage human can go through several transition in a lifetime its how we evolve and adapt to change.

As you know change is inevitable and if the universe thinks that you are heading in the wrong direction it will make changes for you.

We loose our true self for all sorts or reasons but one thing is pretty much certain we always find our way back to our authentic self.

It’s difficult feeling being lost and hopeless, not knowing what’s next.

But not every situation needs to be controlled and it doesn’t need a plan either.

If your like me then I find it extremely hard to let my guard down and trust people, I hate not knowing why and when, but one thing I’ve learnt is it doesn’t matter how much you need structure or answers you don’t always get it.

For myself now don’t force anything any more because anything that needs to be forced isn’t worth having.

And great things can happen when you loosen the grip of needed to control everything.

There’s no magic eight ball…

But you have your intuition so use it well and trust the process only then will you find the way back to your authentic self.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

ℝ𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕠 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

Evening all

I thought I would do a little blog on where I’m at just to let you all know why I’m not around as much at the moment.

Well the title says it all radio silence for the people who haven’t heard this saying before I will explain below.

It means a  period of time when someone does not communicate with another person or other people.

Seems dramatic I know but its my choice.

I’ve needed to strip back every aspect in my life and look at what direction I was heading towards.

Believe me it wasn’t healthy to some extent I’m still battling with my demons.

I’ve been through a very long period of heartache and self loathing for such a long time I’ve just had enough.

Closing the last chapter was the hardest and I have one last hurdle to get over before I can truly move forward.

I suppose you have to fully let the old layers of yourself fall away before you can heal and rebuild yourself.

I’ve given so much of myself to people who didn’t deserve me.

Now I know that and it’s difficult for me to pull my energy back.

But it’s what’s needed for me to be the best person I can be.


It’s time for me to take back my power and allow myself to put myself first.

So I’ve decided to pull back my energy from social media even though its a great place to reach out and put yourself our there I don’t feel I’m 100% ready for it.

With me trying to engage with people I found it’s drained me physically and emotionally.

I just simply can’t find the strength to deal with other peoples issues at the moment it makes me  hypocritical giving our advice and not listing to my own inner wisdom.

I’ve decided to not post anymore pictures or videos of myself at the moment because Im really not happy within myself and because I want people to get to know the real me not just the outside exterior of myself.

Tommrow I’m back on my health kick and the universe is giving me a massive…
To move forward so I will be back after some me time and I will come back better and stronger.

Love to you all ❤️

Stacie xxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog
#bekind
#selflove

Two Way Street

Evening all

Been a while since my last late night blog.

I’ve always had the the ability to tell the truth regarding situations and my own emotions.

This blog this evening is something that I’ve been struggling to come to terms with.

And that’s understanding that when it comes to love and relationships it simply can’t be all onesided.

I know most people have dealt with similar situations in regards to connections.

Can anyone here genuinely say they have ever been so in love that they would do anything to make the other person happy and completely disregarding their own feelings in order to be more appealing to the other party I know I have.

You know how it goes you play it cool try and keep busy but all your waiting for is the next….

To then find that it never comes.

One thing I’ve realised is that connections work both ways effort needs to come from both sides.

Your not the one who takes orders from a ringleader.

You make your own rules and follow them as you wish.

Over the years I’ve put my everything into my connections with people, I’ve really gone above board to make people happy, trouble is with me, I wear my heart on my sleeve I always have, and I love to love it’s just in my nature.

One thing I’ve realised over the past few months is that sometimes the universe will remove toxic people from your life other times you must remove them yourself.

Those who bring ill intentions into our lives do not or will not love us.

They will simply take what they need then leave.

That isn’t someone who loves you.

Love and respect is a two way street.

Never wait for someone to change their mind regarding their feelings.

That may never happen which leaves you feeling deflated.

Always be true to you but when the times right you will meet someone who understands you completely and no matter what the feelings will be mutual never onesided.

Loving all the wrong people prepares us to completely be ourselves and be at peace in our lives.

But most importantly it prepares us to receive the love we all deserve.

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

𝟙𝟘 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

I never thought I had the motivation to make a change to my lifestyle and eating habits but after a few rough months and lots of heartache.

I decided it was time to make drastic changes.

I didn’t want to just lose the weight that was holding me back but I wanted to work on my self-worth and learn to love myself again.
Over the past ten years, as I’ve gradually yoyo dieted and lost and gained weight.

I’ve been aware of so many changes – not just in my body but life in general.

But this time round I’ve worked my hardest.

Here are 10 things that you don’t expect to happen when you lose weight…

1.Your skin will loosen and head to your feet.

I know, gross. Once you start dropping the pounds, everyone experiences this and its not always exercise that helps with excess skin in fact it doesn’t hardly help at all.

This has to be one of my main issues at the moment it’s been getting to me that bad I’ve actually consulted two private medical practices to ask about paid surgery to remove excess skin.

It’s unbearable at times.

2. Itchy skin and sore stretch marks.

If you have lost weight and have stretch marks from either having children or rapid weight gain.

The healing process of shrinking stretch marks is terrible if you have this problem too then you feel my pain.

3.Your boobs will shrink.

I miss the fullness of my boobs.

Don’t get me wrong, they are still a good handful but not quite what they were.

I’ve reversed two cup sizes which is good for me due to less back pain and better fitting underwear.

4.You feel guilty for even looking at a freddo

I’m more relaxed with my eating now but in the first few months I would feel so guilty if I ate something ‘naughty’. Do allow yourself treats (weekends are a good time for this) but in moderation, of course!

5.You become a boring .

I’m sure I’ve bored friends and family with my nutritional advice as they bite into a sandwich. Sorry.

It’s just because you feel so passionate about your own body and taking care of it you just try and help others.

That can sometimes come across as being over boring with annoying weight loss information.

6. Constantly having to be careful when buying new items of clothing.

This should be enjoyable and a happier side of weightloss infact the whole thing just stresses me out, down to remembering you don’t need your past bigger sizes.

To not wanting to spend a small fortune on clothes that may not fit you after more increased weightloss.

7. The true understanding that being thin doesn’t make you happier.

True statement there, just because being thin changes your body and mental attitude it doesn’t mean that all your problems will disappear.

Remember that your weight doesn’t define you as a person.

8. Maintaining the weight loss.

Maintenance can be even harder than losing the weight itself. When I began my journey, I was fueled by success, non-scale victories, and a newfound confidence I gained from becoming a healthier and happier me. But once I began to reach that weight range I’d been gunning for, I started to think, “Well, I’ve already lost a ton of weight.

So adapting my future healthy eating plan for long term process wasn’t going to be easy.

9. My relationships with friends and family have changed; some have grown stronger, and some have become more distant.

When you embark on a big lifestyle change like this, you aren’t just adjusting your eating habits and physical activity. Your interests, hobbies, and thought processes change, too. Even my relationships have changed.
Some friendships have grown apart, because our relationships were so heavily fueled by social drinking and eating.

I think the hardest part about this lifestyle change is that I never anticipated my friendships would shift.

10. I am still scared that I will spiral out of control and gain everything back.

This is an irrational thought, but it is also a very real one. It is especially heightened when I’m traveling or enjoying life and I go in the “fuck it, I’m on vacation” mode, and I binge to the point where I’m not sure I can come back from it.

Like going hard on sweets or alcohol hiding it from friends out of guilt, or overeating in general.

I’m aware that this is a problem for me, and it terrifies me when I lose control that way.

While I would be upset if I reversed my hard work, I think there’s a deeper fear there of disappointing everyone else and having my failure displayed on a very public level.

So there you have it the truth that no one tells you during the process of losing weight…

I hope I’ve helped 😊

Love to you all

Stacie xx

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#bekind

#selflove

#ukblogger

#honesty

#begreatful

#bloggersofinstagram

Blindsided

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Good Morning All

Its Saturday Which means its the weekend..

I awoke from not much sleep but Ive worked out coffee in hand I’m ready to be creative and let my passion flow.

Ive been getting a lot of emails and messages lately honestly I love getting messages from you all asking me for my guidance regarding your situations it makes me feel like I know what I’m talking about & also I like being helpful to other people.

I received an email of a lady in the U.S.A she had previously come across my blog and wanted my advice after her relationship of thirteen years ended abruptly.

I’m going to be honest I could feel her pain whilst reading her email one line that will always stick with me is I’m lost I really don’t know how I will carry on.

I just wanted to give her a hug because when your in love with someone and the feelings are no longer there on the partners side its a terrible feeling.

You just don’t know what you could of possibly done wrong, was you the actual problem all along.

Lets go over what the actual meaning of blindsided in love .

Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning.

We don’t see the red flags because we are so in love with someone we put them on a pedestal, it doesn’t matter what that person does to us we just don’t see the bigger picture.

  1. Your Feelings Are Normal

When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and then suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup.

It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy.

You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heart breaking event.


2. Don’t Blame Yourself

Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being splitting up.

If your ex wasn’t happy, they should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering them.

But some people feel it’s easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.


3. Take Time For Yourself

Be kind to yourself as you process this breakup.

Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down.

Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted.

The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.


4. Be Happy With Other People

Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on.

Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup.

It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that they don’t want to be with you.

Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.


5. Don’t Waste Your Time Trying To Convince Them.

The last thing you should do is try to convince them that they have made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it’s highly likely they where thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened.

They had gave it a lot of thought before they actually initiated the breakup.

At this point, they have had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached themselves from them.


6. Acceptance Wont Come Easy

Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose them at all.

You will remember the most recent time that they said “I love you” and struggle with the idea that their feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly.

Worst of all is that you will expect them to come back to you, and many times they won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless they says otherwise.


7. Distract Yourself

Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship.

After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories.

Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.

The key is to work on yourself when you go through a situation like this not because you where the problem in the first place but because you deserve to be loved and understood being blindsided can really be a whirlwind process but you will get through it , it just takes time.

You will learn new things about yourself when your in a state of vulnerability but you must always remember not every relationship will be the same as your last so please don’t give up on love when the time is right you will know but for now take your time and get to know yourself.

Please don’t Hesitate to email me if you need my advice using contact box below .

I’m Sending you love.

Stacie xxx

P.S If you love my blog please contribute a small donation to help me create more fabulous content for you. 

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕌𝕡

Hiya Everyone

I hope you have had a great day I would like to say I have but that hasn’t been the case.

Do you know when you roll out of bed in the morning and you know its not going to be a great day both emotionally and physically, most the time these days I have my shit together.

But today I felt like the whole world was against me, my anxiety attacks are less and less these days since I’ve found my confidence back but still one slips through the cracks of that barrier that ive built so high around my soul and every now and again the old Stacie tries to remerge from the shadows and i have to rain her back into the darkness because that jush isn’t me anymore.

This blog post I’ve wanted to post for along time now and I’ve been putting it off for a while but i think its time to share it with you all.

To the people who know me in person who read my blog will understand exactly how I’ve been feeling and hopefully you will understand why I’ve needed to do what I have done to simply keep my head above water and to stop myself from drowning.

Up until the last six months Ive been at war with myself , my mind and my heart trying to align all three has been a battle and half.

I’ve always put others first and always put myself last just to make other people happy.

Ive loved and not always been loved back the old unrequited love is an arsehole.

I’ve sat there and listened and let someone pull me apart piece by piece for simply being me.

Ive kept calm when the fire inside me had raged.

I’ve been battered and bruised by my own self confidence.

Until that day comes and you think you know enough is enough I’m not taking this anymore.

I got up that morning in February and thought this is the last time i will allow my life and the people around me to control me..

It started with some external changes I was so determined to loose weight as that held my confidence back massively and I knew I had to drastically do something to achieve what i wanted so that was the first step for me.

So then the hair changed you always know when a women means business she changes her hair said coco channel , so that’s when my transformation really started when the red hair came along , that in itself gave me a lot of confidence.

Over the past 7 months i have worked on my surroundings and the company i kept.

I had taken a step back from anyone who brings drama to my life, I’m not about the drama, I just want a peaceful life.

One thing I realised when your going through a glow up is that some people will support you others will completely turn on you.

Ive been called nasty and evil plus lot more but i know that’s not me at all.

That’s the kind of people I haven’t got time for anymore.

We all go through bad times i know but its how we choose to evolve from it.

You see some people don’t like other people evolving due to their own insecurities, that’s when you realise that your energies are not meant to combine.

Your eyes open and you truly see people and situations that you once where involved with and think what the hell was i doing.

Transformation does that to you.

So what are my plans for the near future I’m sure that people will have something to say but you know what its my life my body I will do what makes me happy.

I don’t go into things blind I do my research..

so I’m fast approaching 33 and its time to start taking proper care of myself as vain as that sounds but again my choice, so i have been in touch with the Harley medical group to see if they will sort my loose skin from weight loss, that for me is a massive step in the mean time i will just have to put up with it.

Its ok people saying you look fine but its my choice i have to do what makes me happy and i would never go to the extreme.

So the glow up after such a rubbish time is amazing and I’m in this bubble at the moment where I feel untouchable from anything or anyone who caused me heartache and upset in the past.

If you like the new me then cool if you don’t then tough I’m never going back.

And I’m so proud of myself, I still have bad days and I know that one day someone will get me and will love me completely for just being me if given half the chance all I want to do is be happy but until then I’m like a elastic band I will always ping back ….

Love to you all

Stacie xxx

#seashellsandlipglossblog

#weightlossjourney

#fitnessjourney

#weightloss

𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝔹𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 & 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘

Good evening all.

I trust you are all well , and starting to get back to some sort of normality.

Tonight’s article i feel will be relatable to a wide audience , its that part of our lives we can find extremely confusing and also heart-breaking yes its love and relationship’s.

I get lots of messages from my readers asking for advice regarding love and relationship’s , I’m no dear Deidre but ive had my own share of heartbreak and confusion.

First i want to say to you all that read this article proceed with an open mind its just advice and my own added personal experience’s, so lets get to it.

The daunting experience of love and relationship’s it can leave us in quite a confused state , love makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do it can either evolve us or destroy us.

It all depends on how we react to certain situations, we live in a world were we are forced to always do the right thing the respectable thing even if sometimes it makes ourselves unhappy .

When it comes to finding another human being that we are compatible with it can be like finding a needle in a haystack.


Lets just address the elephant in the room here and just make something clear , there isn’t such thing as a perfect partner everyone has faults.

So lets throw away the perfect partner check list out shall we and be realistic here.

Dating isn’t anything like it used to be its all swipe left swipe right these days, There is an app for all sorts of things these days but are dating apps actually a useful tool to help you find the perfect partner.

Do you want me to be perfectly honest here… I’m going to say no sorry tinder …

I know some people may not agree here but remember what i said previously remain open minded.

I just think dating apps show pictures and its all about first impression’s on people and superficial looks.

How can you really get to know people from just a short bio of themselves on a site with millions of users.

It isn’t possible I’m not saying lets go back to the 1930’s what I’m trying to say is times have moved on but it still doesn’t hurt to use some of the traditional dating method’s.

So what if your already in a love connection and your unsure on what you want from your connection together.

If you find yourself in a connection where your unsure if you see future progress with that person the key is communication don’t waste your own time or the other parties time , because we all know that time is precious and you will never get it back.

Its always best to be honest and upfront i know sometimes its not easy to cause others heartbreak but you could be potentially be holding yourself and your partner back from finding more compatible connections.

I know its sad but sometimes we need to let go in order to progress.

This part of the article connects to everybody who maybe talking to someone and are having mixed signals from the other party.

Have you been talking a lot lately and all of a sudden communication slows down or do they completely go ghost on you well here are a few tips that i have learnt myself over the years.

  • Don’t make yourself so easily available to them, I know how it goes you get that texted message and you think oh i have to texted back straight away DONT!!!! there isn’t a law on how long you should wait to texted back but don’t make yourself so easy to be reachable.
  • They must understands that you need to study or hang out with friends or family, you need your own space it’s not healthy to spend 24 hours a day every day together.
  • Set Boundaries The right man or lady will step up to the plate and bring their A game. By conveying how you wish to be treated you are setting yourself up as the exceptionally high value human being that you are.
  • The three day texted rule this one’s for you if your being subjected to the ultimate male code of treat them mean keep them keen let’s ignore them for three days and see what happens rubbish, well lads your theory is outdated as the ark, by doing this incredibly silly tactic you could possibly make them loose complete interest in you sorry but we want consistency alongside space don’t confuse the two.

After going through my own in depth dating experiences .

That’s when I realized that as a society, we don’t teach our people about the things each of us desires most. We all want love.

We want relationships. 

We want to grow. 

This is what we imagine can happen in a great relationship, but most of us haven’t deleted our unconscious relationship programming.

 To change those habits into new ones, we have to do it with our hearts, not just our minds. Knowing something isn’t the same as being someone new. 

Love can be a beautiful experience if we allow ourselves to be honest with our own feelings , there isn’t any wrong or right way to date someone but you have to feel it in both your heart and mind, Both working symmetrically and in harmony .

Love to you All

Stacie xx