Blindsided

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Good Morning All

Its Saturday Which means its the weekend..

I awoke from not much sleep but Ive worked out coffee in hand I’m ready to be creative and let my passion flow.

Ive been getting a lot of emails and messages lately honestly I love getting messages from you all asking me for my guidance regarding your situations it makes me feel like I know what I’m talking about & also I like being helpful to other people.

I received an email of a lady in the U.S.A she had previously come across my blog and wanted my advice after her relationship of thirteen years ended abruptly.

I’m going to be honest I could feel her pain whilst reading her email one line that will always stick with me is I’m lost I really don’t know how I will carry on.

I just wanted to give her a hug because when your in love with someone and the feelings are no longer there on the partners side its a terrible feeling.

You just don’t know what you could of possibly done wrong, was you the actual problem all along.

Lets go over what the actual meaning of blindsided in love .

Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning.

We don’t see the red flags because we are so in love with someone we put them on a pedestal, it doesn’t matter what that person does to us we just don’t see the bigger picture.

  1. Your Feelings Are Normal

When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and then suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup.

It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy.

You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heart breaking event.


2. Don’t Blame Yourself

Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being splitting up.

If your ex wasn’t happy, they should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering them.

But some people feel it’s easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.


3. Take Time For Yourself

Be kind to yourself as you process this breakup.

Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down.

Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted.

The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.


4. Be Happy With Other People

Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on.

Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup.

It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that they don’t want to be with you.

Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.


5. Don’t Waste Your Time Trying To Convince Them.

The last thing you should do is try to convince them that they have made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it’s highly likely they where thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened.

They had gave it a lot of thought before they actually initiated the breakup.

At this point, they have had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached themselves from them.


6. Acceptance Wont Come Easy

Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose them at all.

You will remember the most recent time that they said “I love you” and struggle with the idea that their feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly.

Worst of all is that you will expect them to come back to you, and many times they won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless they says otherwise.


7. Distract Yourself

Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship.

After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories.

Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.

The key is to work on yourself when you go through a situation like this not because you where the problem in the first place but because you deserve to be loved and understood being blindsided can really be a whirlwind process but you will get through it , it just takes time.

You will learn new things about yourself when your in a state of vulnerability but you must always remember not every relationship will be the same as your last so please don’t give up on love when the time is right you will know but for now take your time and get to know yourself.

Please don’t Hesitate to email me if you need my advice using contact box below .

I’m Sending you love.

Stacie xxx

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10 Ways To Get Back Your Happiness

Good Afternoon All

I wanted to do a little blog this afternoon about getting your happiness back!!!

Everyone deserves happiness in life but its all about if you wait for it to fall in your lap or go out and create your own little bit of sunshine.

So here we go have you ever felt so far of the beaten track that you see no way back to happiness.

I have and its very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The frustration and the hopelessness of keep continually going round and round in that hamster wheel with no way off.

I’m going to highlight 10 ways to help get your happy on these are tried and tested theories by yours truly ..

Number one

Listen to music…

Music is the key to your soul i find listening to music helps identify all the emotions you cant find the words to say out loud.

I love the fact that you can just put on that one song that can either transform you mood or bring back happy memories.

I create my own playlists depending on my mood i find it really does help.

Number 2

Get Active

Keeping active plays a very important role not only for the body but also for the mind.

Go out and explore take a walk in nature allow yourself to be taken away from everyday life.

Take yourself out of the four walls even the moderate exercise can make a whole lot do difference.

Number 3

Read a book

Getting lost in a good book creates happiness because for a short while you forget about everything your whole life transforms into one moment that’s right in front of you.

Being still in peace and quiet give you time to rest and allow yourself to be still it’s a fabulous place to be when it’s

Number 4

Be greatful for what and who you have in your life.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the bad we loose sight of what’s good and important for us.

Having the right love and support around us can make us richer than any money could ever make us.

Creating your own happiness and sharing with the people closest too you is one of the most wonderful experiences anyone can have.

Number 5

Hobbies

To find something you are passionate about and just to keep going with it if it’s creative, sports or something you simply just enjoy doing if you find happiness then that itself is worth more than gold its great to have something you can find peace within.

And also feel passionate about.

Number 6

Keep a journal

This one I can 100% relate too I’ve said in previous article’s that blogging has been my life saver.

If your like me and can’t find the words to say face to face putting pen to paper is the way forward.

Write about what makes you happy and what makes you greatful in life send your postive thoughts to the universe and watch your abundance return.

Number 7

Always trust your own intuition.

When it comes to your happiness make sure your are the one who pulls all the strings don’t do something to make someone else happy and leave yourself feeling deflated and defeated.

It’s right to be mindful of others but don’t forget to put your own needs first.

If something feels odd it will more than likely to have negative outcome.

Number 8

Be the change you want to see in the world.

The world may be a depressing state of affairs, especially when you listen to negative people and the media. If you want to see a change in the world and have happiness back in your life, then start changing your own beliefs and attitude. It’s when you change that you can become what you want to see in the world. If you are more loving, then you will experience that more within your daily life. If you want more happiness then be happy, if you want more money then give money—the list is endless!

So, what ways can you have happiness back in your life when the outside world appears to be so depressing?

Number 9

Smile and Laugh Often

Try not to take life too seriously. I know that ‘seriousness’ is required in some circumstances, but if you continually treat life as a struggle or as something painful then it will continue to be that way. Let your true self come out by remembering what it was like as a child to be carefree, to laugh, to smile and to play regularly. If you can learn to bring more play into your life and the lives of those you love, you’ll see that life no longer has to be depressing or sad. Just because the rest of the world is like that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit!

Number 10

Do something for someone else.

A lot of what has happened in the world to make it depressing has happened because we have forgotten to love and forgotten to give. To get the happiness back in your life, it might be time to start looking at how much giving you actually do.

When someone asks you to do something for them, how do you react? Are you resentful, offhand or plain rude? If you have answered “yes” to any of those, then perhaps it’s time to re-think how you are to those you love.

Giving does not have to be about money, it can just be giving back time, or helping someone move, or lending a loved one a book. It can be anything. I’ve always felt that if you aren’t giving then you aren’t living because that’s what life is all about!

I hope you have enjoyed my article.

Love to you all..

Stacie xxxx

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